Game of Thrones AU: in which Joffrey is transformed into a llama and forced to travel cross-kingdom, all whilst learning the true meaning of humility and friendship

(Source: lovelyleviosa, via awkdinosaur)

flukeoffate:

gingahninjah:

sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white

Reblogging for that comment

flukeoffate:

gingahninjah:

sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white

Reblogging for that comment

(Source: blackwithmoreblack, via michaxl)

that dick is not medicine

awfulbanter:

but i will take it daily 

(via neongenesisevangaylion)

jack-of-none:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up

There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out

This just keeps getting better

ugh guysThat was Zhuge Liang and it wasn’t tea, he sat down and played a chill song on his guqin. Zhuge Liang had such a reputation as calculating mastermind that his opponent assumed he had an ambush prepared and fucked off. It’s thought to be a fictional incident but the “empty fort strategy” does appear in the Thirty-Six Strategems, which is attributed to Zhuge Liang (who was a real person), so yeah. Other things Zhuge Liang was notable for include insulting his enemies with burns so sick that they literally died. (He did this more than once)Life Goals: Zhuge Liang

jack-of-none:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source

back the fuck up

There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.

So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.

The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.

Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.

did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out

This just keeps getting better

ugh guys

That was Zhuge Liang and it wasn’t tea, he sat down and played a chill song on his guqin. Zhuge Liang had such a reputation as calculating mastermind that his opponent assumed he had an ambush prepared and fucked off.

It’s thought to be a fictional incident but the “empty fort strategy” does appear in the Thirty-Six Strategems, which is attributed to Zhuge Liang (who was a real person), so yeah.

Other things Zhuge Liang was notable for include insulting his enemies with burns so sick that they literally died. (He did this more than once)

Life Goals: Zhuge Liang

(via paperheartsplasticrose)

calliopeisababe:

probably but tell me more

calliopeisababe:

probably but tell me more

(Source: jordybelfort, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

evaded:

worshiptheband:

the best youtube comment 


definition of a burn

evaded:

worshiptheband:

the best youtube comment 

definition of a burn

(via rnarinascliarnonds)

baiovevo:

FIVE YEARS HE WAITED FIVE YEARS

(via sixfigs)

marina + favorite tweets

(via marina-and-the-archetypes)

hellahickey:

THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF SPONGEBOB HISTORY EVER

(Source: weenie-hut-general)